Confessions...

I started off so strong with a heap of challenges this year.  FMS Photo a day on Instagram, Clairey Hewitts #myfamilyandme weekly photo challenge.  The 52 project.  All such great ideas and so inspiring. 

Oh and then I also thought I jump in the deep end and have a crack at the shemakesthings crochet mood blanket 2014 challenge.  Not such a strong point although it was a lot of fun having a try.  I have so much admiration for you crafty women out there!

I'm a month in and I haven't kept up with any of them.  I've had a good go at them all.  Well, a reasonably good go anyway.

I've realised a few things though which make me realise I haven't "failed" at anything though, instead I feel like I've just completed some more fine tuning.  I feel like I've learnt a little more about myself and what makes me happy (and of course, what doesn't).

* Scheduling creativity does not appear to work for me.  I'd rather be inspired than forced.  It is something I feel that doesn't come easily for me so when it's there it's there and when it's not..well it's simply not.

*I go through phases.  Some days/weeks I'm all about my veggie garden, daydreaming about our move up to Homegrown farm.  Sometimes I need to focus on our family and building a strong connection or working on current issues we may be facing.  Other times I focus on myself a little more, working on personal issues I want to overcome, or simply re-filling my cup and nurturing myself.  Then I find myself going on my cooking runs where I'll try a heap of new recipes and be all about food.  This is usually followed by a decluttering and home organisation phase.  Who know's what will be next? Haha.

*These phases are part of who I am.  Luckily I'm at a place where I can embrace it.  It keeps life interesting for me and each little phase teaches me something new.  Some of the things I learn I find ways to apply and stick with and others I try and quickly work out that it's not for me. 

*I love taking photos.  I've have been so inspired by the idea of the family photos and I will continue to take them and submit them when it feels natural to do so and not forced.  It felt so good when we are all having a family fun day together to take a snap of all of us.  My photos on Instagram are usually of moments that I want to capture and share.   I know when it feels right to me.  The photo a day sometimes felt like I was just taking a photo just to take a photo if that makes sense.  Rather than a moment I wanted to record specifically.

*I love to blog.  To record our life over these beautiful years raising my boys.  It makes me focus on all the good there is in my life and how grateful I am.

*Living life will always come first.  For me, there's no point blogging if everything else is falling apart at the seams. 

It's so funny how our own thoughts can be our own worst enemy.  We make most of the issues and drama up in our own heads and then let it control us.  In reality we actually get to design our lives in all of our choices and baby steps forward.  I don't want to "should" all over myself  by looking at the lives of those around me who have found a way to make life work for them.  That is their story and it won't work if I try and copy it.  I'm unique so my life will be as well.  It won't look like any other.  

I'm so blissed out with my life right now.  It feels like I have so many things falling into place that I've wanted for so long.  It feels magical to me sometimes.  I am happy and content (most of the time!) and love the direction I'm moving in. It sure is an amazing journey filled with ups and downs, challenges and successes.  Even though it most definitely wouldn't appeal to everyone I wouldn't change any of it for the world.