Tuesday, May 8, 2012

4 ways I saved my sanity (at times...)

I'm quite a patient Mum to my boys.  I wasn't always that way, however with each addition it really became a necessity!  I had no escape, I was with them 24/7 basically.  Due to breastfeeding them each for 12 months I also didn't get a lot of time away while they were very little. 

My best ideas for saving sanity are...

1. Let the house go....as much or as little as you can handle. 
For a period of time after Ethan and Jayden were born I hired a cleaner.  It was such a help! Did I have time to clean my house?  Yes, I did.  Did I feel like cleaning my house? NO!! On those random days when all boys napped or were engrossed in a movie I wanted to chill out.  Not start cleaning!!!   Seriously, if you walked into my house right now you'd all probably have a heart attack but it will get clean, one day, probably when my boys are grown up and out of the house.  Seriously though, pick the things that matter most to you, your partner/husband and kids and prioritise that.  So in our house, Michael hates not having clean laundry so I prioritise that, then comes the kitchen.  The kids honestly couldn't care less about any level of cleanliness (in fact Louis once told me he likes it when the toys are everywhere because he just never knows what he might find when he trips over them!) however I hate them losing parts of sets of games etc so picking up toys are next on my list.  I have also been known to clean even just 1 room and vacuum it.  Sometimes the idea of cleaning an entire house from top to bottom is enough to motivate me to take the kids out to the zoo for the day instead. Don't fight it on those days when it's all too much...there's always tomorrow.

2. Take time out.
This looks different for everyone!  My time out (as you may have already realised) can simply be zoning out in from of the computer! My mum always used to hassle me to go out and take a class or socialize but in those early years honestly,  I just wanted to veg without a little person needing me.  Now that the boys are older (6, 5, 3 and 2) I don't feel the need to get that time out so much unless I'm sick or particularly overwhelmed.  I enjoy their company and their antics and feel like I've mellowed a lot more.  Now if I decide to take a class or socialize outside of the home it's because it's something I really want to do and not because I'm trying to escape them!  Sometimes more than anything we just need to rest and rejuvenate! If I was particularly stressed out I would find a book or website, blog or facebook page that would inspire me.  Often it was enough to restore my gratitude for my family and my children and for the role I have as Mum and bring me back to a place of appreciation for all that I have.  Find out what really works for you and make it happen.

3. Relax and enjoy.
Oh my gosh.  When I had Louis I thought it was all about routines and getting him to nap at this time and for this long.  Honestly, no wonder I did my head in! I expected him to hit certain milestones such as sleeping through and I honestly just didn't understand how individual each child could really be! I'd been told not to cuddle or rock him to sleep, to stop breastfeeding him because he looked hungry and all sorts of other ridiculous advice.  If someone gave me the same advice today it wouldn't worry me, but back then I was so unsure of myself and I really just wanted to do the best thing for him and all it led me to was more uncertainty!! I PROMISE you (unless you choose too), you won't be giving your child nighttime breastfeeds when they're 5, you won't be co-sleeping with your child when they're 8 and you won't be rocking your child to sleep when they're 6.  If you don't make them to a do a chore list as long as your arm they will still learn to be productive human beings.  They will not turn into axe murderers from playing video games.  What are the biggest clashes you have with your child/children right now?  I'm sure they're are ways around those arguments rather than someone winning or losing everytime.  Find a way for everyone to win and enjoy themselves! Are some of your rules because of fears that you have for the future?  Are they realistic? 

4. Have an easy family meal on hand
Have something aside from takeaway that is easy to make and that you always have the ingredients for.  In our house for many years (and 3 out of 4 still eat it) it was "Cheesy Pasta".  Nutritious? Not really.  Easy? YES!  It meant that I could make it in 10min, it didn't cost anything and didn't involve the age old husband/wife debate of who was going to call and who was going to pick up the takeaway!  Michael never was a fan of pasta but on those nights when you honestly can't be bothered cooking I'm sure your husband can look after himself (he would often have 2 minute noodles or something equivalent)  No, this is not something you want to be eating every night but really, it's no worse than fish and chips!! Again, find what fits you're family...

Cheesy Pasta
Pasta (any type although I would usually use spirals)
Tomato Sauce
Tomato Paste
Cheese
Cook any type of pasta as per usual.  Drain and add back to saucepan.  Add a good squirt or tomato sauce and a good tablespoon of tomato paste.  Mix in lots of grated cheese until melted.  Serve.

(I did attempt to add veggies one day but they knew and didn't eat it...oh well...I tried!)

These are idea's that don't rely on money, partners or childcare and can be utilized by most families in most situations.  Can you relate to these idea's or have any that you'd like to add?

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